Diary of a Mayhem 2025 Day 4 - Sunday

Bone Lake

A couple book a romantic getaway in a lavish country house next to a lake in the middle of nowhere. Another couple turns up claiming they have also booked the venue. Mind games ensue. EuroHorror obsessives will likely be ahead of things at every step here, but for everyone else this has plenty of twists and turns that I'm certainly not going to spoil, suffice to say it all gets pleasingly bloody during the final act.

Heresy

In a grim, dank, medieval Dutch village a woman cannot conceive and so naturally the townsfolk accuse her of being possessed by the devil. When she goes into the nearby forest from which No-one Returns Unscathed she has an encounter with something that isn't the devil but which is certainly very supernatural indeed. Director Didier Konings' folk horror piece offers a slight story even for its brief (61 minute) running time, but it's worth watching for one night shot when we see the spirits of the forest at a distance.

The Occupant of the Room

Algernon Blackwood is one of the greats, and one of those classic authors whose work is difficult to film because so much of what goes on in his stories (often inspired by his own adventures) takes place in the lead character's mind. Full marks, then, to writer-director Kier-La Janisse whose THE OCCUPANT OF THE ROOM feels more like the 1970s BBC Ghost Stories for Christmas than that channel's own recent attempts at reviving the format. Minturn (Don McKellar from Cronenberg's EXISTENZ and CRIMES OF THE FUTURE) desperately needs to spend a snowbound night at a remote inn. All the rooms are taken, but one of them has not seen its occupant for a couple of days after she set off up the mountain. He takes it, of course, and comes to regret his decision, of course. The story is told neatly, atmospherically and economically over 30 minutes and benefits from some disquieting animation towards the end. Produced by Severin Films and an excellent companion piece to their just as good TO FIRE YOU COME AT LAST, directed by Sean Hogan. 

Portal to Hell

Dunn (Trey Holland) discovers a portal to hell in a local laundromat. His neighbour Keith David is dying of cancer and Dunn just happens to waylay the demon come to collect David's soul. Unfortunately the demon wants three other souls to replace it, so Dunn has to find three 'deserving' cases he can send to hell through a washing machine. It all sounds very silly and it is, but PORTAL TO HELL manages to be far more charming and touching than you might expect and is worth checking out even if you're not a fan of comedy with your horror.

Dead by Dawn

Giallo meets Lovecraft (sort of) in this Polish horror that doesn't live up to the potential of that premise. After some encouraging mentions of olde Lovecraftian favourite books like De Vermis Mysteriis, Cultes Des Ghouls and the Pnakotic Manuscripts, we join a bunch of actors employed to rehearse a play in a theatre at midnight. It's all for a ritual, you see, as is the bumping off of each of them by a killer wearing the mask on the poster. Unfortunately this is all executed with the storytelling expertise of hitting you over the head with a hammer wrapped in the screenplay. Loud music, flashing lights and shaking camerawork, not to mention the muddy photography, serve to render some scenes difficult to follow. The undemanding may enjoy the references to OPERA, the remake of SUSPIRIA and other 'nods to' (or possibly steals from) better films, but it's all a pretty unsatisfying experience. 

Diary of a Mayhem 2025 Day 3 - Saturday

Mag Mag

Young men are being haunted by the ghost of a girl whose size and physical appearance resembles Rob Zombie's version of the adult Michael Myers. When they reject her advances they end up dead with the eyeballs plucked out. But what's actually going on here isn't quite as straightforward as it initially seems, with the ultimate explanation for the hauntings reserved for the last few minutes of the running time. In between we are treated to a gleeful embracing of many J-Horror cliches, comedy monks and a dance routine that involves some bizarre sphincter artwork. If you're a fan of J-Horror you'll appreciate the references to previous genre films, but a lot of this can be enjoyed just as much even if you don't know them at all. 

Man Finds Tape

A found footage horror, but don't go scrolling away just yet. MAN FINDS TAPE is found footage shot (on the whole) by characters who are themselves film professionals, collated with CCTV footage and other nicely static sources that eliminate the wobble cam that plagues the worst of the genre. A man in a small Texas town discovers a video recording that shows a stranger in his bedroom when he was a boy. Then CCTV footage turns up of people suddenly falling asleep in the town high street and a van running someone over. It would be a shame to say any more, and indeed to suggest the horror authors whose work this film is most reminiscent of, but in a festival that hasn't had that much horror MAN FINDS TAPE helps to redress the balance very nicely.

Bulk

What's this one all about? Travelling the time streams, that's what! Ben Wheatley's new film acknowledges Philip K Dick, Alan Moore, Kurt Vonnegut and an awful lot of others at the end but to me this felt most like one of the Jerry Cornelius novels of Michael Moorcock, especially A Cure for Cancer. Agent Sam Riley is thrown into the time streams by Alexandria Maria Lara in search of a missing scientist whose Brane (sic) has exploded. This is where he meets Noah Taylor in a large number of roles, alters roles himself as does Lara and the three of them meet up, cross over and affect the outcome of the time streams while always coming back to the same house but in different rooms. Shot in black and white in academy ratio ('because it's best for faces' said Mr Wheatley) and making ingenious use of both new tech and old school model work. If you're not a fan of Mr Wheatley this is unlikely to convert you, and if you've seen everything he's ever done chances are you'll still be surprised by this one. Oh, and your mileage will undoubtedly vary as to whether it's your cup of tea or not. 

Event Horizon

This year's big screen classic, which if you haven't seen you should, as it's still Paul WS Anderson's best. 'Big, British and Bloody Scary', as SFX magazine called this tale of deep space exploration gone horribly wrong (and to a hell dimension) back in the day. And an excellent opportunity for those who missed it the first time round to experience it on the big screen. I was there opening weekend so I elected to retire early. 

Diary of a Mayhem 2025 Day 2 - Friday

Chess of the Wind 

A new restoration of this 1976 Iranian thriller (which was very quickly banned in its country of origin) and a film that's very much in the vein of Clouzot's 1954 LES DIABOLIQUES, Hammer's 1960s psycho thrillers and even Andy Milligan's bizarre gothic tales of weird families intent on bumping each other off to inherit a fortune. When the matriarch of a wealthy family dies she leaves her money not to her husband but to her daughter from a previous marriage. Both the husband and his two grown stepsons are keen to get their hands on the money but the wheelchair-bound daughter isn't prepared to lose it without a fight and even murder. But if the patriarch is subsequently killed why do the police see him two days later? And who was it musicians claim sent them to the house to perform? A fascinating film from a culture not known for this kind of subject matter, CHESS OF THE WINDS also boasts an effective music score that gets under your skin. All this and THE EXPANSE's Shohreh Aghdashloo in her first film as the daughter's handmaiden. Good stuff & recommended if you can find it - it's currently available only on a Korean Blu-ray or as part of a US Criterion box set.

Transcending Dimensions

A monk holds the secret to moving to other dimensions, aided by the severing of your little finger. One of his acolytes has disappeared (and is in fact now part of a trans-dimensional experiment). The vanished monk's girlfriend, who is not quite what she seems, gets her assassin colleague to find out where he went. This involves a trip on a spaceship, a much smaller monk, a naked lady who functions as a toilet seat warmer, and a lot of other things before we get to a final battle. That's about as much sense as I could make of this one, which very much feels like a mishmash of stuff the director wanted to see in a film without worrying too much about how much sense it made or if it all fitted together. But if you're a fan of Japanese craziness this will be your big dose of it for the year.

The Arbiter

An unexpected gem, THE ARBITER asks the question: What if Walter Hill's THE WARRIORS was low budget, British, and funny? Rival gangs of pyromaniacs, roller skaters, graphic designers, ice cream salesmen and others rule the city at night, turning parts of it into no-go zones that the police have agreed to stay away from as long as no guns are used and no property is damaged. But one gang is threatening to wipe all the others out and it's the job of Verril (Craig Russell) to act as arbiter between the gang leaders and the police to reach some sort of solution. THE ARBITER starts off hard and fast, flinging as much comedy as action at the audience in its opening act such that by the time things slow down a bit it has you firmly on its side, all the way to the highly satisfying conclusion. A genuine low budget treat and very much a highlight of the festival. 

Redux Redux

Irene (Michaela McManus) travels from parallel universe to parallel universe to kill the man who murdered her daughter in every one. In one of them she also ends up rescuing his latest victim, 15 year old runaway Mia (Stella Marcus), who joins Irene on her journey to some understandable reluctance on Irene's part. Each of the parallel universes is remarkably similar and the killer remains conveniently the same in each, but then that's not the point of REDUX REDUX which is more interested in looking at the dehumanising effect Irene's lengthy vendetta has had on her as a human being. And to that end it succeeds admirably.

Diary of a Mayhem 2025 Day 1 - Thursday

After a couple of years away, Mrs Probert and I are back at Nottingham's Mayhem Film Festival. It's taking place, as always, in the luxurious environs of the Broadway Cinema, still the comfiest setting we've ever attended for an event such as this. And that's just as well, seeing as this year's programme is packed with must see films. As usual I'll be posting my thoughts as I go so let's get started:

Game

The festival opened with the UK premiere of this low budget effort set in 1993. David (Marc Bessant) wakes up in an overturned car and finds himself trapped when he can't get his seatbelt to release. After spending some time trying to escape he's attacked by a dog, which he kills (dog lovers beware of this). Unfortunately the dog belongs to a local poacher (Jason Williamson) who has no intention of letting David go. However, when David pours the stash of drugs he obtained from a rave the night before into the poacher's cider, everything takes a turn for the psychedelic. 

        The plot for GAME is slight and the film spends a ponderous amount of its scant 80 minute running time detailing David's attempt to get out of the car. Neither character evinces any audience sympathy and by the time everything goes Ben Wheatley by way of Ken Russell stylistically in the final act you are still wondering why you should care about either of these unpleasant characters. 

The Old Woman with the Knife

In 1975 a 16 year old girl stumbles into a restaurant and, after she kills a US soldier who tries to attack her, into a new way of life. 50 years later she's the most senior member of a secret assassination squad who only take on hits on people they consider vermin in society. But 50 years of hits means you make a few enemies, and one of them is about to come back to haunt her. Min Kyu-dong's Korean crime thriller plays around with narrative, making things a bit confusing at times, but it builds to an action-packed climax at an abandoned amusement park and the lead performance from Lee Hue-yeong as an ageing female John Wick is a winner.

Diary of a Mayhem Day Four

Bullets of Justice

Unexpectedly excellent, BULLETS OF JUSTICE is a very homemade, very funny post-apocalyptic bit of daftness where mankind has been mastered by a group of genetically mutated humanoid pig creatures. Likely the only film you'll see this year where the sexy leading lady has a moustache (that changes from scene to scene), this is a delirious laugh riot from beginning to end. And I haven't even mentioned our hero's obsession with the bottom of a leading male catwalk model. MAD MAX meets ZOOLANDER! Great stuff.

Door Lock

Jaume Balaguero's SLEEP TIGHT (which gets a mention in both the opening and closing credits) is the basis for this Korean thriller about a woman who finds herself being stalked by a serial killer. This one has pacing issues and isn't half as effective as the Spanish original, sadly. 

Why Don't You Just Die?

A huge surprise. If Sergio Leone had met Ade Edmondson & Rik Mayall in the eighties then the result might well have been something like this - a spaghetti western that takes place almost entirely in someone's front room. A fantastic music score adds immensely to the hilarious and beautifully choreographed mayhem. The trailer for this one doesn't do it justice as it's far funnier and far cleverer than you may think. 

Vivarium

In which Imogen Poots and Jesse Eisenberg find themselves prisoners (and sole occupants) in a housing estate from which there seems to be no escape. One day a baby is delivered in a cardboard box with the instruction 'Raise the child and be released' but who is keeping them there and why? The only film of the festival to be influenced by Sapphire and Steel, this gets grimmer and grimmer. Don't expect any happy endings.

And that's it! The closing film was Ant Timpson's COME TO DADDY which I've already written about in my Frightfest coverage. Our first Mayhem was a blast. Each day's programming was perfectly curated, right down to starting off the final day with BULLETS OF JUSTICE just when we all needed something insane and noisy as an eyeopener. We'll be back.  

Diary of a Mayhem Day Three

The Pool

In which a man finds himself trapped in an empty disused swimming pool with only his girlfriend and a crocodile for company. What will get him first? Starvation, the hungry reptile, or his lack of the insulin he needs to keep him alive? This Thai effort does rather stretch suspension of disbelief, but it's also a rollicking good suspense piece that will keep you on the edge of your seat for most of its running time. I liked it more than Alexandre Aja's CRAWL but be warned - if you're thinking of watching this and you're a dog lover you may not like one particular sequence.

She Never Died

A cannibal lady with super regenerative powers gets recruited by a hardbitten policeman to take down a local human sex trafficking ring. A companion piece to 2015's HE NEVER DIED (which I'd never heard of until now), SHE NEVER DIED is very much like the kind of pulp comic book entertainment we used to see in the 1980s from companies like Empire Pictures. In fact, while last night's THE HIDDEN (1987) actually doesn't feel that dated (and in some ways is more socially relevant than ever), SHE NEVER DIED feels as if it was made 30 years ago, with its cardboard cut out villains and loud and irritating sidekick character. That said it's a pretty entertaining cardboard cut out comic book. Some pleasantly low budget futuristic sets instead of the grim locations used would have been of immense help.

After Midnight

From the ridiculous to the sublime. An ultra low budget meditation on relationships with an added monster, AFTER MIDNIGHT manages to be both touching and surprisingly funny. Hank (Jeremy Gardner) and Abby (Brea Grant) live in Hank's rambling old house in a tiny town in nowhere USA. They've been together ten years but never married. One day Abby ups and leaves for a month. While she's away Hank suffers nightly attacks by a monster with huge claws that tears his front door apart and eats the family cat. Do the monster and Abby's departure have anything to do with one another? I won't spoil it but AFTER MIDNIGHT is a lovely film with excellent acting from the leads and some very funny supporting characters. I very much suspect this will end up a festival favourite.

The Gangster, The Cop, The Devil

There's a serial killer on the loose in South Korea. He rear ends cars and when the driver gets out he stabs them to death. He messes up when he selects as his latest victim gang boss Jang Dong-soo (Dong-seok Ma). Jang beats up the killer but still ends up in hospital needing two hours of surgery to save his life. When he gets out he teams up with the policeman investigating the case and the hunt for the killer is on. A slick, fast-paced crime drama that's apparently based on a true story and with a great lead performance from Dong-seok Ma, who's probably best known as the man who doesn't know how to change his ringtone in TRAIN TO BUSAN.

Vampire's Kiss

What in God's name is this? A late 1980s picture I never caught up with at the time, that's what. And what a very peculiar picture it is. I'm not just talking about Nicolas Cage's performance here, which is a goldfish bowl of eccentric acting all its own, but the film as a whole, which spends its running time ridiculing a man who is obviously mentally ill and believes himself to be a vampire. Was this sold as a comedy? A horror film? Or was it one of those pictures they had no idea how to push and just hoped Cage's bizarre turn would cause sufficient word of mouth? If it's that last one they were right - here we are watching it 30 years after it first hit the big screen. Only composer Colin Towns, channeling James Bernard amongst others with his fabulous gothic score, really emerges from VAMPIRE'S KISS with his dignity intact. But Nicolas Cage is the reason this film will go down in movie history. Required viewing for any serious student of 1980s cinema.

Diary of a Mayhem Day Two

Viy

The 1967 Russian version of Nikolay Gogol's tale takes a while to get going, and poses a number of questions that are never satisfactorily answered, but once we get to the final act it's pleasingly weird. A monk is sent to read the required three nights of burial prayers beside the corpse of a young girl who, before dying, requested his presence by name. But it's actually the dastardly plot of a witch the monk met earlier in the story. With some clever visual effects and a gorgeous transfer that's due to be released on disc by Severin, this was a welcome showing of this on the big screen.

Sword of God

aka THE MUTE, this one's a film in the VALHALLA RISING subgenre of medieval Christian brutality. After a disaster at sea, two men end up washed ashore on a remote island. One is fervently religious and plans to convert the pagan islanders to Christianity. The other isn't, and has his own ideas about how they should live their lives. And of course, whenever there's a bit of religious conflict, large quantities of gory violence are sure to follow. SWORD OF GOD scores points in the grim gory depressing things happening in a constantly soaking wet milieu department. Unfortunately Nicolas Winding Refn tackled the same themes rather better & I'd suggest you watch his film again instead of this.

Girl on the Third Floor

While his pregnant wife Liz (Trieste Kelly Dunn) is busy breadwinning, her husband Don (C M Punk) takes their dog Cooper to the house they have bought with the intention of redecorating it. It isn't long, however, before all his good intentions are being interrupted by sexy Sarah (Sarah Brooks). Don doesn't seem to have tired himself out sufficiently plastering, hammering and generally banging things because Sarah turns out to be too much of a temptation. But what's that? The house has a grim history? And heterosexual men who live there often end up the worse for wear? Could something supernatural be going on? Travis Stevens' film works well for the first hour or so, but then he tries to cram in far too many plot elements and revelations with the result that the whole thing falls to bits, which is a shame because up until then it's all quite fun. We'll let Travis off, though, because there's some excellent scary imagery in here & it's only his first film as director. One to watch.

Color Out Of Space

The best film of the day & likely to be the best of the festival, Richard Stanley's long awaited return to feature film-making is his adaptation of H P Lovecraft's story THE COLOUR (sic) OUT OF SPACE. When a meteorite lands on the property of Nathan Gardner (Nicolas Cage) it heralds a change in both wildlife and vegetation as whatever the rock has brought with it strives to change living things into 'something it knows'. A feast for the eyes and ears, COLOR OUT OF SPACE really needs to be seen in a cinema with a 7.1 surround system to get the most out of it. The visual effects are astounding, Cage's performance is mesmerising and Richard Stanley's direction walks the razor's edge between the fantastic and the absurd with assured confidence. Spectacular, memorable and as faithful as any modern-day adaptation could hope to aspire to be. 

The Hidden

Wow. It's been over 30 years since I saw the UK premiere of Jack Sholder's THE HIDDEN at the Scala Cinema in Shock Around the Clock & it's a delight to report that time has been very kind to this one. When an insectoid body-shifting alien with a taste for fast cars and heavy metal comes to LA it's up to 'good' alien Kyle MacLachlan to stop him / her / it. Tremendous pacing (the film hurtles along for almost all of its 96 minutes), an interesting effective but atypical score for an action film from Michael Convertino, and performances from a host of familiar faces (Michael Nouri, Claudia Christian, Chris Mulkey, the dog who goes for a wee on Freddy's grave in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 4 and many others) mean THE HIDDEN has stood the test of time. Give it another 30 years and they'll be calling this a classic if they're not already. 

Diary of a Mayhem Day One

Nottingham's Mayhem Film Festival has been going for years but this is our (ie Mrs Probert & myself) first time attending. It's held at the rather swish Broadway Cinema (formerly the City Lights for anyone old enough to remember) and the first thing to note as part of this festival review is that the films are being shown in what must be the comfiest, plushest screen of any festival we have ever been to. Comfy seats, loads of leg room and easy toilet access almost but not quite overshadowed the cinema's excellent 7.1 surround sound system. Until the films started, that is. And talking of the films, opening night had two of them. Here's what I thought:

Extra Ordinary

A grape, a toaster and a wheelie bin are amongst the mundane items possessed by ghosts in this, a serious contender for best horror comedy of the year. Mike Ahern and Enda Loughman's tale of an Irish driving instructor who can communicate with the spirit world (and exorcise ghosts from all manner of inanimate objects as well as living creatures) is a warm and funny film with added gore, reminiscent of Nick Whitfield's 2010 SKELETONS (GHOSTBUSTERS in Derbyshire). 

        Add in a plot concerning one hit wonder Christian Winter and his attempts to use satanic rituals to have another bestselling record and you have a film that even Dennis Wheatley would have found funny. Utterly charming and I hope co-director Mike Ahern's suggestion that the characters may get a TV series comes to something.


Daniel Isn't Real

...or is he? As a boy Luke had an imaginary friend called Daniel. That is until Daniel made him poison his mother - after that Daniel was banished to an old doll's house. When Luke heads off to university, various stressors cause Daniel to resurface. Luke's new / old friend helps him to be successful with women and to express himself artistically, but it all comes at a terrible price.

        With a storyline that reminded me a bit of Christopher Fowler's novel Spanky (in a good way), Adam Egypt Mortimer's movie is a delicious, mind-bending Boschian melodrama that provides plenty of nightmarish imagery along with its is-he-or-isn't-he-mad plot. 

On to Day 2!

Frightfest 2016 Day Four

Downhill

Kicks off with an altar, a sacrifice and something wiggly. Then we cut to some cyclists in the countryside, and what should have been RACE WITH THE DEVIL on bikes. Instead we get half an hour of absolutely nothing at all. I didn’t like the director’s previous HIDDEN IN THE WOODS and I didn’t like this. No more of his stuff, I think.

Alternate Title: Skid Marks


Let's Be Evil

Evil hyper-intelligent kiddies in the CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED mould in this low-budget virtual reality British picture. A fun twist at the end but there was rather too much running around in the dark in this one for me.

Alternate Title: Prodigies of Pain


Broken

Girl with serious problems of her own ends up looking after obnoxious, self-obsessed, tetraplegic ‘rock star’ who caused his own spinal injury through stupidity. A collection of damaged and / or unpleasant characters in a grim tale that I suspect is striving for 'gritty realism'. Unfortunately it just goes all daft in the last act & I ended up not liking it very much at all.

Alternate Title: Crack Heads

Crow

The spirit of Arthur Machen strikes again with this marvellous, atmospheric Welsh horror tale of a valley and the ancient spirits that protect it. Some truly excellent photography gives the landscape a personality all its own, and the movie also boasts some great performances. A real discovery and one of my favourites.

Alternate Title: Druid’s Revenge

Bad Blood: The Movie

Oh yes - this is what we want on a Sunday night! People turning into giant frog monsters and going on the rampage! Gleefully wearing its Frank Henenlotter influence like a dripping slimy crown, this is terrific splattery fun - well directed, with amusing performances and some great non-CGI effects. Full marks for BAD BLOOD.

Alternate Title: Night of the Werefrogs (even the director admitted it’s probably going to get a release as something like that)

To Day 5

Frightfest 2016 Day Three

The Rezort

Ever wondered what the trashy Italian zombie movies of the early 1980s might have looked like if they’d been made by someone with actual talent? Wonder no more as this exceptionally entertaining British zombie picture explores what it would be like if zombies were kept in a theme park on an isolated island for the amusement of the rich and jaded. I doubt if director Steve Barker would admit Bruno Mattei as an influence even if that infamous director’s HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD might have actually been an inspiration. Unashamed trashy fun and the first genuine surprise of the festival so far.

Alternate Title: JuraZic Park

Abattoir

And sadly we follow with the biggest disappointment so far. The central idea of someone taking the rooms in which people have been murdered in order to construct some kind of house of hell is great, but it requires a considerable degree of panache and confidence to make it work. ABATTOIR has neither, and instead throws in several extra plot ‘twists’, two screamy sweary leads who quickly get tiresome, and a denouement that’s more ridiculous than the ending of some episodes of SOUTH PARK. For people who like James Wan movies, ABATTOIR desperately wants to be one, and it fails miserably. For those who don’t like James Wan movies - it’s just like a James Wan movie.

Alternate Title: James Wannabe

The Master Cleanse

What a curious, quirky and charming film! Anjelica Huston and Oliver Platt’s intensive laxative therapy course leads to the birth of cute little bowel monsters that they claim are made up of all one’s ill-feelings. Will Johnny Galecki and Anna Friel be able to complete their purification course by killing their new offspring or not? Delightfully strange and appealingly original, this is well worth a look when it gets a release.

Alternate titles: Bowel Babies / Colon Children / Motion Monsters 


The Creature Below
 

This year’s FrightFest really is full of surprises. I expected very little from this one and was delighted to discover that on a tiny budget we can say hello to a whole new subgenre of British suburban Lovecraft. Girl goes ultra deep sea diving and brings back an egg which she keeps in the basement of her Yorkshire semi-detached. The egg hatches to yield a tentacled thingy that loves blood. Very rough around the edges, the love for old HPL shines through - we even have characters drinking Charles Dexter Ward wine! A suitably apocalyptic and insane ending rounded off this very pleasant surprise indeed.

Alternate Title: Little Shoppe of Cephalopods
 
The Love Witch

Camp and colourful, and as much a tribute to Stephanie Rothman’s THE VELVET VAMPIRE as the movies of Douglas Sirk, THE LOVE WITCH is a beautifully designed and shot piece of luscious film-making. It does go on a bit, mind, and if you haven’t fully bought into the more-soapy-than-horror premise of its central character trying to find love at any cost you might find yourself looking at your watch quite a bit before the end, especially if renaissance theatre performance isn’t your thing. Gorgeous stuff, though, and that includes the lead actress, who deserves to star in a neo-giallo if there’s one going.

Alternate Title: Set A Course For...Witchcraft!

Blood Feast

Good God someone has remade H G Lewis’ 1963 load of old rubbish BLOOD FEAST. Robert Rusler is actually great as Fuad Ramses, who forgets to take his meds and is convinced he can hear the goddess Ishtar talking to him during his night job at the local museum. By day he runs a diner on the outskirts of Paris (France. Yes France). Soon he’s hacking up the locals before inviting his wife and daughter to take part in the feast of the title. Rusler is excellent, everything else is decidedly ropey. Even the gore effects are only slightly better than the original.

Alternate Title: How can you possibly improve on BLOOD FEAST?

To Day 4

Frightfest 2016 Day Two

Through the Shadow

As far as colour versions of the Henry James story The Turn of the Screw go, this isn't bad at all. Jack Clayton's THE INNOCENTS will probably never be bettered, but this is a fine, atmospheric, and above all passionate interpretation of the James story, with measured performances and some excellent imagery. Setting the story on a coffee plantation allows for some original, but entirely appropriate, touches in this Brazilian picture. I just hope the subtitles get a bit of a polish before any formal disc release. 

Alternate title: The Nightgoers (sorry)

Enclosure

Fiona Dourif and her husband who ‘just wants to be in a band’ celebrate their second wedding anniversary by hiking off into the woods, not knowing that their planned route runs through monsters and Jake Busey. This one’s a slow burner but the climax is a Machenesque keeper. Deserves sticking with, and director Patrick Rea is a lovely chap whose enthusiasm for the genre shines through in his work. 

Alternate Title: In the Woods

Lost Solace

Not sure about this one. It’s well made and some of the imagery, especially the really trippy bits, is excellent. But the plot is all over the place. Tagged as LIMITLESS meets AMERICAN PSYCHO, this is sort of both of those, but with a few too many plotlines going on for its own good. Not a disaster by any means, but by the time you reach the end you may well feel a little frustrated that it isn’t rather more satisfying.

Alternate Title: A Clockwork Pineapple

Night of Something Strange

The spirit of Peter Jackson’s BAD TASTE is straining to be emulated in this, but unfortunately it’s a bit too much bad and too little taste (and a lot of straining). Body fluids of every description, vomit-filled toilet bowls, bloodstained tampons and condoms plus talking vagina dentata and absurd prosthetic penises all vie for comedy space amidst the zombie mayhem of this one. Despite all that, this one feels a lot too amateurish for much of it to work, and there are plenty of opportunities for comedy that are sadly missed. One for strong stomachs and no sense of taste whatsoever.

Alternate Title: Night of the Living Dead Bums, Willies and Other Rude Things

The Similars

 

What Frightfest is all about for me - a raving mad Mexican subtitled movie with a thunderous music score and a healthy sense of genre heritage that I wouldn't get to see anywhere else. Why are the people convening on a remote bus station during a rainstorm all growing beards and turning into the same man? Is it the rain? A government experiment? I’ll leave you to find out. Absolutely one of the highlights of the festival so far. 

Alternate Title: Facial Hair - Everywhere!

To Day 3  

Frightfest 2016 Day One

It's time for House of Mortal Cinema's annual trip to London for Frightfest, this time held in the sunny surrounds of Shepherd's Bush. Five days of movies, many of which are world premieres, plus guests, surprises and free stuff (so far I have CELL T-shirt, a rubber heart, a CELL phone case, a Horror Channel T Shirt, and a collection of postcards. I didn't say the free stuff was actually covetable). 

          The festival kicked off with Andy Nyman and Jeremy Dyson giving us the welcome news that Lionsgate are going to film their stage hit GHOST STORIES, with Nyman and Dyson directing and Martin Freeman featured in the cast. The short clip they then showed proved to be the highlight of the evening, as the films on offer to kick off the festival were, to be charitable, all strictly 'B' grade material. Here's what I thought:

My Father Die

Continues the Frighfest tradition of the opening film being, well, not terribly good, really. In the scuzzy deepest depths of the deep south, deaf and dumb Asher learns that the father who deprived him of his hearing and killed his brother has been released from prison 'because of overcrowding'. He leaves his enormous bedridden mother, puts a wolf on his head, and catches the bus into town to beat his father's head in. He doesn't quite hit him enough times with the spade, however, allowing the film another hour of miserable characters wallowing in their own grimness, peppered now and again with voiceovers and shots of classical paintings to make this picture seem a bit more profound than it actually is. Can you guess this one ends badly?

Alternate Title: "Oh Dad, Poor Dad, You're a Hillbilly Rapist And I'm A Bit Miffed About it Actually"

Cell

Nowhere near as bad as many reviews will have led you to believe (thank goodness), this starts well, and then follows the time-honoured route trod by movies and TV shows like THE CRAZIES, THE CHANGES, 28 DAYS LATER and even QUATERMASS (that ending). The problem is that all those productions did this idea better, and that's a shame, because CELL had the potential to be as good as any of them. But it isn't. Sadly, the film is saddled with a weak script that could have done with some ruthless editing (that whole Stacy Keach bit needed to go) and some extra bits to help it all make a bit more sense.

Alternate Title: It's For You

Let Her Out

Sadly nowhere near as sexy or weird as the poster art up there promises, LET HER OUT starts off with a memorably sleazy prologue but doesn't go anywhere much at all after that, other than giving us a dull retread of THE DARK HALF. After Mr King and Mr Romero's epic, and Takeshi Miike's IMPRINT episode of MASTERS OF HORROR several years ago, LET HER OUT feels like a seriously retrograde step in the 'twin growing in my brain' subgenre. Some splatter and a semi-transformation scene at the end are all too little, too late, and the characterisation here is strictly one note as well. Shame.

Alternate Title: Splatter Sisters 

To Day 2