Saturday, 2 August 2014

Sharknado 2 - The Second One (2014)

From the people who can’t spell Sci Fi comes the film everyone knew was a dread inevitability. SF movie sequels tend to follow a strict formula of being bigger, noisier and more spectacular. It will therefore come as no surprise to anyone exhibiting an interest in this that SHARKNADO 2: THE SECOND ONE is even stupider than the first.
At the start of this one a CGI plane, piloted by AIRPLANE’s Robert Hays on which original SHARKNADO stars Ian Ziering and Tara Reid are travelling to New York, is beset by the toothy-bitey-fishy-infested whirlwind of the title. No sooner has stewardess Kelly Osbourne had her head bitten off than Tara’s lost a hand and gained a vendetta. Somehow the plane manages to land. “I’ve seen worse,” says Robert Hays, but we’re not sure if we have. Not yet, anyway.

Twin sharknados are threatening New York! Regular updates on news and weather stations allow for lazy writing but much hilarity, especially with the weatherman who quickly becomes a serious contender for best actor in the film (if anyone would want that claim). Jaw-dropping scenes of poorly animated sharks attacking the big apple abound while Judd Hirsch drives people around in his taxi (ho ho) and we all wonder when Tara Reid’s going to turn up again. When she does it’s with a quite remarkable limb attachment of either startling originality or utter desperation. Watch the Statue of Liberty’s head roll down the street! Watch out for an occasional hammerhead shark from an especially bored animator! (Assuming they had more than one). Wonder how bad things must have got for stars like Kari Wuhrer for her to have to be in stuff like this after the heights of ANACONDA and EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS.

It’s hard to know whether SHARKNADO 2 represents a new nadir for movie-making or the zenith of an entirely different entertainment form altogether. I will freely admit that I could not stop watching it, but rather than for the thrills and fun of a good old Roger Corman-style monsterfest, it was more because of the  unbelievable bravado of those involved in its making. The sheer sense of ‘anything goes’, the lack of sense of any kind, the minimal attempts at believable special effects all make SHARKNADO 2 the kind of film that deserves to live nowhere else but at the bottom of a CornFlake packet, a free gift to be tipped out, toyed with when there’s nothing better to do, and then forgotten.
That won’t happen though, at least not if the SyFy (I still hate that spelling) Channel has anything to do with it.
SHARKNADO 3 has been announced.


  1. Notice Wuhrer is playing an Ellen Brody, name of Lorraine Gary's character in the Jaws series.

  2. Be on the lookout for the Wil Wheaton cameo at the beginning! Also, Robert Hays asks his co-pilot to "check the panels; they're running a little hot" (another reference to "Airplane"). They also discuss the "fish vs. chicken" entree choices.