“Sunday Teatime Timewaster”
Well it is. If you like zombies. And Navy SEALS (Sea, Air & Land Teams, so I’m informed). And, of course, the two together in a smackdown in the city of Baton Rouge in Louisiana, which is where this film takes place.
While the US Vice President is visiting the above town, a zombie outbreak occurs. Nobody knows why or really seems that bothered. Michael Dudikoff - the AMERICAN NINJA himself - sends in a crack team of Navy SEALS to get the US VP out and save him from the impending ZA. They do but before anyone can say WTF the helicopter they’ve got the VP into crashes and he’s presumably DOA from some zombie’s MO. But the SEALS are given a second SR mission to access a tower and rescue some PhDs who have been working on a cure.
Cue lots of shooting, zombies, and the kind of acronym-filled dialogue that seems to pervade films like these. Some of the Navy SEALS are quite fat and I was given to wondering just what kind of seals the Navy had actually ordered. There’s certainly no beach balls being balanced on noses here, but there are some quite massive beards being balanced on chins - is one allowed to boast such facial hair in a crack commando unit? Mightn’t it get in the way, or end up being used in torture and interogation techniques by the other side? “Oooh look at you you’re beard’s rubbish. Now tell us your government’s plans or we’ll taunt you again.”
NAVY SEALS VS ZOMBIES is actually a very by the numbers bit of zombie action. There’s no real style, no wit, and no originality. Near the start there’s a news clip where they can’t spell the word discretion “Viewer discression advised” it says, which made this viewer cringe more than any of the blood and guts on display. That said, if you like this sort of thing it’ll certainly help you waste 84 minutes. There are no extras.
NAVY SEALS VS ZOMBIES is out on DVD from Icon on
15th February 2016