Respectable - The Mary Millington Story (2016)

"Absorbing, fascinating and ultimately touching tribute to a unique British star"

Okay, I’m going to confess something up front here: I have never seen a Mary Millington film. Well, not unless you count ESKIMO NELL which I reviewed on here a while ago. I haven’t seen THE PLAYBIRDS (1978), CONFESSIONS FROM THE DAVID GALAXY AFFAIR (1979), or even what is probably her most famous film, Harrison Marks’ knockabout nudie comedy romp COME PLAY WITH ME (1977). That last film holds the record for the longest continuous cinema run of a British movie, by the way, which says far more about the British cinema going public in 1977-1981 than it does about the quality of the film. 

But even though I’ve never seen Mary in her full glory, as it were, I know who she is. If you grew up in the 1970s as I did she was impossible to ignore, even if you were way under the age to be able to buy magazines like Whitehouse and Knave. For a star of both hardcore (initially at least) and softcore pornography to become such a household name was something we shall probably never see the likes of again. But Mary Millington was a unique individual, and Simon Sheridan’s excellent new documentary detailing the ups and downs and ins and outs (sorry couldn’t resist - Harrison Marks would have been proud - ooer - actually I’ll stop now) of Mary’s career is as much a fine tribute as it is a valuable document of a fascinating period in British cultural history.

         All the usual details we might expect from such a documentary biopic are present and correct - Mary’s birth and childhood in Dorking, her early marriage, her lively outgoing and exhibitionistic character, her need to obtain money to support her ailing mother, necessitating her (entirely voluntary) move into the world of modelling for ‘mucky books’ as one interviewee puts it. And then her rise to fame and fortune under the auspices of porn impresario David Sullivan, culminating in her appearances in the movies listed above, followed by a brief and tragic spiral into cocaine abuse and her death at the ridiculously young age of 33.

         Where Mr Sheridan scores huge points is in the number of interviewees he has managed to assemble for this journey through Mary’s life. Family members, celebrities (Dudley Sutton is always hilariously good value), other glamour models (Linzi Drew and Pat Ashley among them), producers and directors (including Stanley Long and Arnold Louis Miller) and David Sullivan himself. The interviews have obviously been conducted with sensitivity and they are linked by a narration from Dexter Fletcher, whose tone and delivery are perfect for the subject matter. There are also clips from some of Mary’s films, including the earlier more explicit stuff that I can’t imagine anyone is going to find sexy these days.

         Extras include a feature-length commentary track with Simon Sheridan and the BFI’s Sam Dunn, ten more minutes of Dave Sullivan, interviews with Sue Longhurst and Ed Tudor-Pole, the short silent film PARTY PIECES, and a couple of trailers.

         RESPECTABLE - THE MARY MILLINGTON STORY is how you do a documentary. As I said above, I have never seen a Mary Millington picture, and I can’t say I want to now, but Simon Sheridan’s absorbing film provides us with a fascinating look at an interesting time for British exploitation. Most of all, it’s probably the best tribute its star or anyone who knew and loved her could wish for. And yes, as so many people are keen to point out, she really did seem like genuinely nice girl. Highly recommended and a contender for documentary of the year. 

Simon Sheridan's RESPECTABLE - THE MARY MILLINGTON STORY is out on DVD from Simply Media on 2nd May 2016

The Sign of Four (1983)

Sy Weintraub’s other Sherlock Holmes production isn’t quite as good as his version of THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES, but it’s certainly worth watching if you’re a Holmes fan, and now it’s available in a new Blu-ray and DVD release courtesy of Second Sight.

Rich Thorley Walters gets delivered a map. The shock of it makes him immediately take to his bed, where he informs his two sons firstly that he has a fabulous treasure hidden in his attic, and secondly that it doesn’t all belong to him. That’s about all he tells them because he’s scared to death by a one-legged Joe Melia who appears at the window.

Meanwhile, at good old 221b, Cherie Lunghi has turned up to show her enormous diamond to Holmes (Ian Richardson again, and very marvellous he is too) and Watson (David Healy who, like Donald Churchill in HOUND seems to be suffering from a bit too much of the Nigel Bruces). She also needs them to accompany to a rendezvous that has been organised via mysterious message. Will one-legged Joe and his mad carnivorous dwarf Tonga (seriously) get the treasure, or will Holmes save the day? 

Like I said above, THE SIGN OF FOUR isn’t as good as HOUND, and actually feels a fair bit cheaper (I have no idea if it is or not). Desmond Davis doesn't give the proceedings quite the same vigour Douglas Hickox did, and while Harry Rabinowitz gives us some quite serviceable music, he’s no Michael J Lewis. The same stock footage from Billy Wilder’s PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES turns up again (!) and the film relies more heavily on Ian Richardson’s Holmes to carry it all through (which he does admirably, by the way).

Second Sight’s disc comes with a commentary track by David Stuart Davies. He’s very interesting to listen to, and has a measured delivery that means it’s no effort to have his company for 90 minutes as he tells you plenty of tidbits of information about the film. The transfer is a little bit lower quality than HOUND. Oh, and the aspect ratio for both these films on disc is 1.85:1. They were originally shot for television and imdb cites their aspect as 1.33:1. The change in ratio isn’t noticeable on HOUND but on SIGN OF FOUR the tops of people’s heads are cut off just enough to make it bothersome for the aspect ratio purists out there. 

That said, if you're a Holmes fan don’t let that put you off. Both SIGN OF FOUR and HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES are well worth getting, and as I said in my review of HOUND, it’s a shame there weren’t any more of these. 

Second Sight are releasing Desmond Davis' version of THE SIGN OF FOUR on Blu-ray and DVD on 25th April 2016

The Zero Boys (1986)

"It's not their IQ…probably"

From the man who gave us one of the most staggeringly tasteless exploitation films of the 1970s comes a film that encapsulates so many daft things about the exploitation cinema of the 1980s, all polished up for Blu-ray release by Arrow Films.

The zero boys of the title are a group of paintballers. Scarcely has a picture of Sylvester Stallone in RAMBO been pinned to a wall in some kind of bizarre homage (?) than we’re plunged into the gang’s latest game against a group of similarly eccentrically dressed, bandana-sporting, gurning / glowering ‘teenagers’. The prize appears to be Kelli Maroney (don’t they even get a certificate or some kind of trophy?). Off they drive into the countryside with her and some other girls. Happening across an empty but furnished house in the country, they decide to move in (?). As the sun sets it becomes apparent that the owners are around and intent on hunting the zeroes for sport.

THE ZERO BOYS isn’t terribly good, and that’s a shame because the paintball antics that open the film actually show promise, and suggest we’re going to be in for an action-packed extravaganza. It all fizzles out horribly quickly though, and by halfway through you’ll be wondering when anything is actually going to happen. If you stick it till the final credits be prepared to be flabbergasted by an ending that smacks strongly of ‘we ran out of money at exactly this point and had to switch off the camera’. Those familiar with the director’s earlier goat-molesting cavalcade of sleaze and deviant behaviour ISLAND OF DEATH (1976) will be relieved / disappointed to learn that there’s absolutely nothing here you couldn’t show to an elderly relative with a very low threshold for boring nonsense. Oh, and how on earth did this one end up with a music score by Stanley HOUSE OF WHIPCORD & THE DEER HUNTER Myers and Hans Zimmer? Fans of either composer take note: it sounds very much like Hans did most of it but there's some very Pete Walker-sounding stuff towards the end. 

Arrow’s dual format DVD and Blu-ray set contains a load of extras, including a Kelli Maroney commentary track, new interviews with both Maroney and co-star Nicole Rio, stills, a trailer, and a barking mad bit in which Nico Mastorakis interviews himself. I have to hand it to him - he really goes the extra mile to make this bizarre little featurette as eccentric as his movies.

Going out with an 18 certificate (although it could easily be a 15 or even a 12A), THE ZERO BOYS is one for 1980s completists. Anyone else should approach with caution and with one finger on the fast forward button. 

Nico Mastorakis' THE ZERO BOYS is coming out from Arrow Films in a dual format Blu-ray and DVD set on 25th April 2016

Symptoms (1974)

“Spruced up, slow-moving obscure British horror from the 1970s”

I don’t mean any of that in an especially derogatory way, by the way, but in an era where old films like this can get called ‘a long-lost classic’, it’s only fair to warn the casual viewer (if there are any of you out there who visit this site) who might not be that familiar with the independent UK horror scene of the early 1970s that you’re not actually going to be slipping an undiscovered masterpiece into your Blu-ray or DVD player. Director Jose Larraz is undoubtedly most famous for his Oakley Court-filmed sexy lesbian vampire picture VAMPYRES (1974), but anyone familiar with that film and expecting another outrageously blood-soaked nudity fest from the heyday of British horror’s best decade is also going to end up a bit disappointed. 

Pretty Ann (Lorna Heilbron) comes to stay with superficially weird but actually deeply raving mad Helen (Angela Pleasance) in her 1970s BritHorror country house and ends up wishing she hadn’t. She gets to meet creepy Mr Brady (Peter Vaughn) and encounters something nasty in the attic. As Helen’s madness worsens the house becomes littered with corpses and throughout the film we are given clues as the reason why, before the final scene explains it all. 

SYMPTOMS isn’t a bad film at all - in fact by the end you realise you’ve been watching Larraz’s very own version of Polanski’s REPULSION (1966). Be warned, though, that it’s very slow, and while there’s a pleasantly dreary atmosphere about the proceedings, that’s the film’s main attraction - this is a film that’s much stronger on mood than on plot. 

The BFI’s transfer of SYMPTOMS is absolutely excellent - throw away those crappy VHS to DVD transfers now. Oh, and yes the aspect ratio is meant to be 1.33:1, so don't look shocked. The extras on the BFI disc are also very good indeed. These include brand new interviews with stars Angela Pleasance and Lorna Heilbron (who talks about her involvement in THE CREEPING FLESH as well!), and editor (and producer of VAMPYRES) Brian Smedley-Aston. There’s also the 1999 Channel 4 Eurotika documentary on Jose Larraz (with different title music because the original theme is now used for the showreel at the start of the DVDs of producer Pete Tombs’ Mondo Macabro company). ON VAMPYRES AND OTHER SYMPTOMS is a splendid and touching 70 minute documentary that stylishly stars the director in the story of his career culminating with the award he was presented with at Sitges in 2009. 

              Fans of obscure 1970s British horror will love this, as will anyone interested in the state of the independent British movie scene of the same period. The transfer is great and the extras represent fabulous value for money. Now how about a double feature release of DEVIATION (1971) and WHIRLPOOL (1970)?

The BFI are releasing Jose Larraz's SYMPTOMS on a dual format DVD and Blu-ray set on 25th April 2016

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1983)

Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle’s oft-filmed novel gets the Douglas (THEATRE OF BLOOD, SITTING TARGET) Hickox treatment in this colourful and entertaining Sy Weintraub production from 1983, being given a new DVD and Blu-ray release courtesy of Second Sight.

I’m assuming we all know the plot of this one by now, so here’s how this version pans out. Sherlock Holmes (a warm and winning performance from Ian Richardson) and Dr Watson (a not so good, rather clumpy and pseudo Nigel Bruce portrayal from Donald Churchill) are asked by Dr Mortimer (twitchy Denholm Elliott, who’s great as usual) to help protect Sir Henry Baskerville (Martin Shaw with varying American accent) from the curse set in motion by naughty Sir Hugo Baskerville (Nicholas Clay) many years ago when he chased pretty Francesca Gonshaw (from ‘ALLO ‘ALLO) into the nearby mire.

Down in Devon, Watson meets entomologist Stapleton (Nicholas Clay again, which kind of gives the game away to the two or three people unfamiliar with this) along with Stapleton’s sister (Glynis Barber). He also gets to meet rampantly loud and hugely bearded artist Geoffrey Lyons (Brian Blessed - did I need to tell you that) and his wife Laura (Connie Booth) who might have been having it off with the now dead Sir Charles Baskerville (David Langton, who gets done in in the conservatory at the beginning).

         All the usual plot points are present and correct, Ronald Lacey pops up as Inspector Lestrade, and there’s a bit more blood and guts on display than usual as is only fair seeing as this is a Douglas Hickox film. There’s also a splendid sense of landscape, with the film being shot on location and offering some excellent views of a forbidding but beautiful Dartmoor. 

         As adaptations of this go, the 1983 HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES is really pretty good. Second Sight’s Blu-ray looks excellent, with rich deep blacks and only a bit of speckling in a few of the later frames. There’s one bit of stock footage (from Billy Wilder’s PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES) and that looks nowhere near as glorious as the Shepperton sets which immediately follow.

         What else is good? Well Michael J Lewis provides the score, which is just lovely, filled with mournful menace as well as providing a memorable main theme. It was intended as part of a series but because Granada was doing their own with Jeremy Brett only this and THE SIGN OF FOUR were made, which is a bit of a shame as I would have liked to have seen more of Richardson’s Holmes.

         Extras are limited to a commentary track by David Stuart Davies. I certainly remember there being an on-set report in an ITV programme of the time that featured an interview with Douglas Hickox. It’s a shame they couldn’t have found it but if you’re a Holmes fan that shouldn’t stop you getting what is an entirely respectable, and actually rather entertaining and well made version of this classic tale. 

Second Sight are releasing Douglas Hickox's version of THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES on Blu-ray and DVD on 25th April 2016

Expresso Bongo (1959)

"Expresso Bonkers"

One of the daftest titles in British movie history (although personally I think Robert Hartford-Davis’ GONKS GO BEAT gets the No.1 spot - come on BFI, let’s see a Blu-ray of that one!) gets a cracking new whistles-and-bells Blu-ray and DVD release courtesy of the BFI.

  Sleazy, opportunistic Johnny Jackson (Laurence Harvey) is an agent without a client, despite his pretty stripper girlfriend Maisie (Sylvia Syms) wishing he would launch her on a more respectable singing career. Jackson discovers teenager Bert Rudge (Cliff! Richard) singing in a bar. Bert is only really interested in playing the bongos, but rechristened Bongo Herbert (let’s face it - you can’t complain about a movie with a title like that that features both bongo playing and a character with the name Bongo) Jackson soon has Bert singing his way up the hit parade. Of course, it all ends in tears with Bert ruthlessly exploited by Jackson, who dumps his client at the end of the film in favour of more profitable pastures.

A biting satire of the music industry, EXPRESSO BONGO was originally a stage show written by Wolf Mankowitz and Julian More (who wrote the screenplay for INCENSE FOR THE DAMNED), with Mankowitz writing the screen version. Certainly the dialogue crackles and it’s pretty quick fire, too, expertly delivered by Laurence Harvey and the supporting cast.

EXPRESSO BONGO is also rather a strange film. In fact I’d go so far as to say I’ve never seen anything quite like it. It veers between being very serious and being just plain bizarre. People break into song (there are quite a few musical numbers) but in terms of being an actual musical it’s more reminiscent of the weirdness of something like Menahem Golan’s THE APPLE. But as Cliff Richard movies go it’s nowhere near the light and jolly fluffiness of Peter Yates’ SUMMER HOLIDAY (1961) or Sidney J Furie’s THE YOUNG ONES (1961) and feels like a much more serious endeavour. 

EXPRESSO BONGO was obviously a big influence on Julian Temple’s (vastly inferior) ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS (1985) but don’t let that put you off. It’s really rather special, and truly deserves the appellation ‘cult film’ (and not many do). As well as the above to enjoy / marvel at, there are guest turns by popular British character actors Burt Kwouk, Patrick Cargill (as ‘A Psychiatrist’), Kenneth Griffith (as the chap who pushes the strippers on stage in this one), Susan Hampshire (doing a fantastic upper class twit of the year before the term was invented), Esma Cannon as a cleaning lady and screenwriter Wolf Mankowitz himself as a sandwich man displaying his own name.

The BFI’s DVD and Blu-ray gives us the uncut 111 minute version, and on the Blu-ray you also get an edited 1962 reissue version (106 minutes) with a Val Guest and Yolanda Donlan commentary track. On the DVD you just get the alternate scenes that were included in the 1962 version. There’s also a couple of short films - YOUTH CLUB from 1954 and THE SQUARE by Michael Winner from 1957, as well as trailers and a booklet containing essays on the film.

Apparently EXPRESSO BONGO has acquired something of a bad reputation over the years. I have to say I thought it was creative, original, well made, superbly written and acted, and an unexpected treat. It also made me sad that we don’t see such a degree of creativity in British movies nowadays. Now I’m off to buy some bongos so I can play along the next time I watch this. 

The BFI are releasing Val Guest's EXPRESSO BONGO (oh I do love typing that title) on dual format Blu-ray and DVD on 25th April 2016. Extremely groovy. 

The Ninth Configuration (1980)

Now here’s a very strange film indeed, one that’s getting a Blu-ray and DVD re-release courtesy of Second Sight. 

At an isolated gothic castle somewhere in the Pacific North West of America (although it looks more as if we’re in Germany), American soldiers who have developed a very specific type of psychosis are kept as inmates / patients. One of their number, Billy Cutshaw (Scott Wilson) went mad just as he was about to man a mission to the moon. To the asylum comes Colonel Kane (Stacy Keach), a ‘top psychiatrist’ according to Major Marvin Groper (Neville Brand from Tobe Hooper’s DEATH TRAP but without the crocodile this time), who is going to attempt to rehabilitate them by allowing them to live out their fantasies. As the environment within the castle becomes increasingly eccentric, it turns out Colonel Kane may have some suppressed madness of his own that he needs to deal with.

Yes this actually happens in this film

THE NINTH CONFIGURATION is written, directed and produced by William Peter Blatty from his source novel. Interestingly, even his book is somewhat schizophrenic, split into two different versions, one going by the movie title, the other being known as Twinkle Twinkle Killer Kane. By handling three of the major jobs in moviemaking himself, this truly is a case of Blatty being the movie’s auteur, and what an odd picture it is.

…as does this

The first hour or so feels like an attempt to create a modern American version of Hogarth’s paintings for Bedlam in his Rake’s Progress. There’s plenty of sheer lunacy on display here, much of it as comic as it is disorientating, and hopefully some of the stills reproduced here will give you a sense of the film’s madness.

Castle in the air?

In the second half the film switches gears, becoming darker and much more violent, finally culminating in a climax that feels a little bit of a mis-step and an epilogue that’s not entirely satisfying. THE NINTH CONFIGURATION still makes for fascinating viewing, however. There’s nothing out there quite like it and if you fancy watching something a bit different this might well be for you.

This still alone would have made me want to see the film

Second Sight’s disc comes packed with extras, including a Blatty commentary, interviews with Blatty, Keach, composer Barry DeVorzon, and actors Jason Miller, Tom Atkins, Richard Lynch and Stephen Powers. There’s also an archival introduction from Mark Kermode, and a number of deleted scenes and outtakes. These are especially worth watching as they’re all bits Blatty was loathe to excise and would have added even more to the weird, creakingly insane ambience he was trying to achieve. 

The insanity of violence erupts in the second half

Ambitious, disorientating, violent and different, THE NINTH CONFIGURATION is by no means 100 percent successful, but it is the kind of thing you won’t have seen before, at least not quite like this.

William Peter Blatty's THE NINTH CONFIGURATION is out from Second Sight on Blu-ray and DVD on 25th April 2016

Beat Girl (1959)

"Straight from the fridge, man!"

Oh yes, the BFI continues its ‘Flipside’ series of films demonstrating the more curious aspects of British cinema with this ‘bad little rich girl’ slice of black and white exploitation from 1959 filled with dialogue just like that. 

Spoilt, petulant, pouty Jennifer (Gillian Hills) is upset when her father (David Farrar) returns to the horrid minimalist apartment building where they live (and which he designed) with his spanking new French wife (Noelle Adam). Her father’s attention diverted from being devoted all to her, Jennifer flounces off to her gang of beatnik friends which include Shirley Anne Field (another posh girl gone bad, or at least it sounds like it), Adam Faith (who could be a robot that’s wandered in from a Twilight Zone episode. Think about it if you watch this. I’m convinced the guitar he carried with him all the time was some kind of battery pack or alien communicator or something), Peter McEnery (coughing alcoholic - I mean his character, not the actor) and Oliver Reed (hooray!). 

Might he be looking at her neck, there?

They spend their nights grooving in a basement dive to the quite splendid, menace-laden and dangerous-sounding pop tunes of John Barry. The place they dance at is just over the road from Christopher Lee’s strip club. I know. Anyway, it’s called Les Girls (presumably for added appeal to those punters who can’t speak French) and boasts good old Norman Mitchell on the door and the always excellent Nigel Green as  the chap whose job it is to push the strippers on to the stage.

Chislehurst Caves. INSEMINOID is just around the corner. In 20 years' time.

It turns out Jennifer’s new stepmother has A Bit of a Past. This gives Jenny the excuse to be even more annoying as she bops in Chislehurst Caves way before INSEMINOID found itself down there (Adam Faith had probably already journeyed to the future to see it, of course), and takes everyone back to her place after a game of chicken (I mean car racing, not some weird 1950s British perversion involving poultry but now I wish that’s what happened). Father’s annoyed, Jennifer runs off AGAIN and Christopher Lee says he’ll take her to Paris in return for the usual. Mr Lee grumbled like hell about being in Hammer’s THE MUMMY that same year but he should really have been complaining about having to be in stuff like this.

Bad stuff happens. The End.

This is not the bad stuff that happens, by the way

Well I’m not going to give it away, am I? BEAT GIRL is utter trash. It’s curious trash, certainly, but there’s nothing here for anyone other than those interested in the low-budget exploitation pictures of this period. The BFI’s booklet has a bit on director Edmond T Greville that tries to make him out to be worthy of reappraisal. The only other film of his I’ve seen is his 1960 THE HANDS OF ORLAC and neither that nor this really makes me want to see anything else. Although, I have to say if you scratch the surface of BEAT GIRL Mr Greville he does seem to have a fondness for ladies’ bottoms (and who doesn’t?). That, combined with the fact that the whole film could be read as a propaganda tale - all Jennifer is really calling out for is to be put over someone’s knee - and perhaps you have the beginning and end of the spank suspense subgenre. 

The BFI’s dual disc set gives us as much of BEAT GIRL as anyone could probably want, with three versions of the film, a new Gillian Hills interview, and some short extras. BEAUTY IN BRIEF and GOODNIGHT WITH SABRINA are both brief British glamour films from the 1950s and as as terrible as any sane person might suspect. The highlight of the disk for any BritHorror fan is going to be CROSSROADS, a twenty minute tale of supernatural revenge starring Christopher Lee and Ferdy Mayne that wouldn’t have been out of place in an Amicus anthology.

          Did I like BEAT GIRL? Well, it was certainly interesting to see quite a few familiar faces in the peculiar setting of 1950s BritMovie Beat ‘N’ Sleazeland. And I have to say, I AM still humming that John Barry theme. Another interesting Flipside release. 

The BFI are releasing Edmond T Greville's BEAT GIRL in a dual formant Blu-ray and DVD package on 25th April 2016.

Bride of Reanimator (1989)

The sequel to Stuart Gordon's 1985 classic horror picture REANIMATOR gets an impressive / exhaustive 3-disc release from Arrow Films in a new Blu-ray / DVD dual format limited edition set that also comes with a perfect bound edition of the prequel comic Dawn of Reanimator.

Let's get something out of the way right at the start. REANIMATOR is one of the greatest horror films of all time, a frenetic and perfectly paced mix of outrageous splatter, well-timed humour and some good old-fashioned horror tropes given a delightfully enthusiastic spin. Add in some good acting, including a riveting central performance from Jeffery Combs ably assisted by some great villainy (David Gale) and an engaging, sympathetic female lead (Barbara Crampton) amongst others, and a music score that should incense with its unoriginality but actually, somehow, turns out to be the perfect accompaniment, and it's no wonder that REANIMATOR is a film that never feels old.

So, REANIMATOR is a classic.

BRIDE OF REANIMATOR is not.

To be honest, it's probably unfair to compare the two. While the first film is something of a case of catching lightning in a bottle, BRIDE is more an attempt by someone who has seen the lightning caught to do the same thing but doesn't really understand some of the major elements that caused that lightning to get trapped in the first place.

So what's the plot?

Eight months after escaping the end of the first film, Herbert West (still alive and not strangled by a length of large intestine as was previously suggested) and Dan Cain are in Peru, experimenting with war casualties using a version of Herbert's reanimation serum that had been modified by an extract from a species of iguana. They travel back to the US where they somehow get jobs as doctors at Miskatonic Hospital despite having caused so much havoc there as students less than a year ago (did they even qualify?). All that's left of Megan is her heart in a bag, next to Dr Hill's head in a bag, which is next to various other body parts in a cupboard in the pathology department. Herbert finds the heart and a pathologist (Mel Stewart who for some reason has a bat pinned to his bench (?) gets to play with Dr Hill's head. Herbert convinces Dan they should make a woman using Meg's heart. Herbert gets bored and randomly glues bits of bodies together. The Manchester University Atlas of Anatomy makes a guest appearance (Hooray! Seeing one of our textbooks was the best microsecond of the film for me and my friends when we saw it on its original release) and is used to crush a little scuttling thing made of fingers and an eye.

A very badly acted policeman keeps bumbling around (Claude Earl Jones in desperate need of the direction he probably didn't get). Fabiana Udenio turns up as 'the girl'. Dan makes love to her and has possibly the most appallingly uninspiring dialogue in the entire film. We don't care because we're too busy saying 'Alotta Fagina' in an AUSTIN POWERS accent every time Ms Udenio appears on screen. Kathleen Kinmont plays the bride (really quite well, actually). Dr Hill's head acquires bat wings. Everything goes mental at the end but sadly that isn't enough to save this rather insipid film.

The one really important thing BRIDE OF REANIMATOR lacks is any sense of the vitality than infused every frame of its predecessor. Dialogue is flat, and acting is even flatter. Jeffrey Combs is still great as Herbert West, but his fiddling about with body parts 'for a laugh' doesn't feel consistent with the driven-and-mad young scientist we know from the first film. In fact if anything, Herbert West seems as bored with this sequel as we are. Richard Band's music cues are very similar, but this time they couldn't afford an orchestra and so it's on synthesisers instead. Is that why it sounds so much less inspiring? Or is it just because the magic isn't there this time around? The pacing is off, everything drags, and the hole-ridden script(which is nowhere near as exuberantly daft as the first film) gets even more shown up for being, well, all a bit stupid, really. It's a shame, but one really needed someone of James Whale's talents (never mind even Stuart Gordon's) to give this BRIDE some life.

If the film itself isn't that great, Arrow's presentation, however, is second to none. BRIDE OF REANIMATOR has never looked very good on home video. The previous Tartan DVD looked like an Eastmancolor print someone had driven a car over (and sounded worse), but Arrow's Blu-ray looks crisp and vivid, so full marks to them for that. Two versions are presented here on Discs 1 (the unrated version) and 3 (the R-rated version). There's actually very little difference between the two.

Extras include three (!) commentaries - a new one by director Brian Yuzna and archival ones with Jeffery Combs and Bruce Abbott, and another with cast and crew. There's a new featurette with Yuzna and another featuring interviews with the special effects artists who worked on the film. There's a deleted scene (Meg is reanimated) and discussion of the excised carnival sequence. The same material is presented on Disc 1 (Blu-ray) and Disc 2 (DVD). Disc 3 is the R-rated cut with some behind the scenes footage as extra.

So there you go. Nowhere near as good as the first film (as is always the case unless you’re called MAD MAX 2), BRIDE OF REANIMATOR will still have the appeal of its totally insane ending for those of us who have to see everything. And now, thanks to Arrow, we can see it all in a really nice print. 

BRIDE OF REANIMATOR is coming out from Arrow Films in a limited edition Blu-ray and DVD three disc set (with some cracking artwork on the box) on 11th April 2016

Three Days of the Condor (1975)

Sydney Pollack’s Hitchcockian conspiracy thriller gets its first ever UK Blu-ray and DVD release courtesy of Eureka.

When CIA book reader Joe Turner (Robert Redford) returns from lunch one day to find his entire team massacred by evil Max von Sydow, it’s just the beginning of a taut game of cat and mouse that will last three days, and where he will come to realise he can trust no-one, not least the establishment he has been working for.

It wouldn’t be fair to tell you much more than that, as THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR deserves discovering by yourself if you’ve never seen it. Condor is Redford’s character’s codename, by the way. While Pollack isn’t especially known for being a director of suspense pictures he does a fine job of winding up the tension from about ten minutes in here. There are quite a few similarities to THE THIRTY NINE STEPS (any version, not just Hitchcock’s) but with the villains being part of the system rather than dastardly spies from another nation (a splendidly weary performance by John Houseman as one of the CIA higher ups gives us the revealing line ‘I miss the clarity of wartime’).

THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR works well on the whole, with its everyman hero having to rely on his wits most of the time, and his special training when it helps Pollack to emphasise the point about man vs the system. There’s a love story in the middle with Faye Dunaway’s character that feels a bit shoe-horned in and slows everything down just as the suspense has been building nicely, but otherwise this is a thoroughly decent 1975 thriller. And how can you not love something that name checks (presumably) Dario Argento?

Eureka’s disc comes with stereo and 5.1 surround sound options. Extras include an episode of ‘The Directors’ TV series which profiles Pollack’s career. There’s also a twenty minute talking head piece from Sheldon Hall about the movie and contextualising it within the dual careers of Redford and Pollack, as well as justifiably comparing it to other establishment conspiracy thrillers of the 1970s like Alan J Pakula’s THE PARALLAX VIEW (also 1975 - let’s have that on Blu-ray as well please, Eureka) and Michael Crichton’s COMA (1978). You also get a trailer and there’s a 32 page booklet with an enlightening new essay on the film by Michael Brooke and an interview from 1994 with Sydney Pollack (talking to John Boorman). 

Sydney Pollack's THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR is coming out from Eureka on Region B Blu-ray and Region 2 DVD in a dual format set on 11th April 2016