Green Inferno (1988)

"Carry On Up the Amazon...A Bit"

It's time for more comedy gold (or at least a bit of it) as 88 Films brings GREEN INFERNO to UK Blu-ray. First off let's be clear - this isn't the rubbish Eli Roth film from 2015. Oh no, this GREEN INFERNO is an entirely different rubbish film altogether, made in 1988 and directed by one Antonio Climati, probably best known for working on movies like Jacopetti & Prosperi's MONDO CANE (1962) and 1966's AFRICA: BLOOD & GUTS. Despite his association with outrageous and controversial mondo cinema, what we've got here is an entirely sillier bag of nonsense.

The appropriate response to being offered the chance to watch GREEN INFERNO

Three men steal the biggest yellowest aeroplane they can find and drive it down a motorway, presumably leaving the absurd monster truck they drove to the site of the robbery at the scene of the crime. Despite this not a single policeman seems to spot this infraction of justice.

Off to the Amazon they go. As they look for a place to land one character exclaims "There's not a boat in the bay!" as one passes extremely obviously across the screen.

Watch too many of these things & this is the result

They're there to meet up with intrepid reporter Jemma, who has just been traumatised by a scene of utter daftness. "I don't think I'll ever forget this," she says as she surveys a head shrinkers laboratory complete with actors' heads stuck through a table and a giant poster of Paul Newman's face on the wall, and neither will we.

Paul Newman is just out of shot

Our useless explorers are on the trail of a missing professor (identified by the characteristic sound of his cigarette lighter on a tape, no less). They need a jungle guide. They find him in the Beer & Toad Racing bar. Once all the toads have been weighed (or possibly just raised and lowered a lot in outstretched palms for some reason that is never made clear) there is a toad race. It is quite possibly the highlight of the film.

Toad weighing! (Probably)

The next five minutes feature monkey resuscitation, a trumpet solo on the river, and a fish stuck up a man's bottom that has to be removed by one of our 'heroes' (I am not making this up). Then it's time for our first tribe of natives. We're told they 'don't like to wear clothes' but for some reason they do like to wear garish pink and yellow wigs. We never find out what this tribe is called, which is a shame. 

A trumpet solo is imminent!

It's night and there's an attack by bats on strings, after which everyone goes monkey hunting. Then it's time for some ants on chest and spider on belly 'torture' before the whole film slows right down and turns into a series of episodic, mildly interesting adventures for our explorers. In fact it's safe to say any appeal GREEN INFERNO may have to the trash connoisseur is in its opening half, although we do get Mozart in the jungle, more trumpet playing and trousers being taken down at gunpoint.

Toad Racing!

Extras include Italian opening and closing titles and a half hour featurette on the history of cannibal movies. To get maximum value from this disc the drinking game you can play with this one is to watch it with the English dialogue track but turn on the subtitles. Every time there's a wild deviation between the two take a swig and you won't be worrying too much about the end of the film anyway.

GREEN INFERNO is out from 88 Films on Blu-ray on Monday 11th March 2019